Bad Choices Make Good Stories

by RS Cain

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The songs on this album were recorded over a period of several years....and styles.
The choices were all mine.


released December 14, 2018

RS Cain-Guitars, Bass, Vocals, midi programming
Donte Purdy- Keyboards, midi programming
Recorded, mixed, mastered, etc. at Bear In The Woods Studio Versailles, KY.


all rights reserved



RS Cain Versailles, Kentucky

I'm a guitarist, singer, and songwriter from central Kentucky.
My music is a mix of many different influences; from the country and western I heard as a child to some stuff I heard yesterday.
I write songs primarily to make you shake your money maker. I'm not deep, and I'm certainly no virtuoso. I just want you to have a good time.
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Track Name: Trip For Biscuits
Lila got distracted on the Blow Off
The cardinal rule of being on the run
Never get your honey
Where you get your money
Never mix romance with a gun

Jimmy was a Roper on the west side
Blackie had a handle on the Crew
Tossing Broads and Crazy Larry
Swinging Priests and Pregnant Mary
The only life these Bunnies really knew

For a little Flash
We can score big cash
Just Light the Flame
On the Badger Game
If you never risk it
Life's a Trip For Biscuits
You never get rich
Off the Jamaican Switch

Our girl Lila was a looker
Just not the brightest in the hall
But her hustler's education
Explained the situation
And Lila wouldn't stay behind the eight ball

The Hook was a line from a Penny and Dime
And some Babe Gam
The flash was a little cash
From the Butter And Egg Man
The shade was a Classic Fade
With a perfect Angle
Then they heard the Chicago Lightning
And they had to Dangle

On the coast of Argentina
In the town of San Major
There's a statue of a lady
Who could be somewhat shady
And no one knows what the hell it's for
Track Name: Damital
If you've got Groat's Disease
Nothritis in your knees
Or Amoria Phlebitus
Or plaxogrammaphasia
Dry Ditch Fever
Or DarKosis in your beaver
If your johnson's got a wave
'Bout to send you to your grave
You can cure it all
With a healthy dose of Damital

Now there's so many ills
And man they got the pills
The pills make you fine
Until you lose your mind
So you get an injection
Which causes an infection
Then they sell you lotions
And other costly potions
They can change your sex
But they still can't change your ex
Cure it all
With a healthy dose of Damital

Cosmic Rust got your dongle in the dust
Mandular extrusion, sexual confusion
Descolada, craving cheese furtadas

Ain't no pill or shot
No goat hair juju in a knot
No cream or solution
You rub on a contusion
No salve or balm
Or drink to keep you calm
No hot designer drug
To keep you warm and snug
If your itch got no scratch
And your attitude's a match
Lose your stress and doubt
With a well deserved timeout
Track Name: Funk Crazy (1st World Problems)
Toaster's broke, ain't no joke
What am I gonna do?
Energy bar for breakfast
And 26 pairs of shoes
I gotta go, runnin' way too slow
Jump in my ponderous ride
Hit the button to raise the door
And back that sucker outside

I got dreams, I got schemes, I'm in redemptive scenes
But first I gotta pay my dues
Buy some time, drop a dime, payin' way under prime
Have you seen my Bolivian shoes?

On the clock, on the chopping block
The window's down the hall
Make a toast, drop a post
Connect my conference call
Who's gonna serve what I deserve
Gimme my silver and gold
"Do what's right and you'll have your night"
Is what we're always told

Got no tears, Got no fears, you ain't gettin' in here
'Cause I got plenty to lose
Build a wall, kill 'em all, give me back my job at the shopping mall
Buddy ain't ya seen the news?

Funk Crazy
Facin' my 1st world problems
Singin' my Christian Blues
Wonderin' how to solve 'em
Bad luck is no excuse

IPad froze, TV blows
Internet's way too slow
Time to kill, can't buy a thrill
Where did my fit-bit go?
Trendy beauty, jury duty
Same as yesterday
Feelin' young and smooth and I can boldly move
As soon as I can figure which way

I got dreams, I got schemes, I'm in redemptive scenes
But first I gotta pay my dues
Draw the line, drop a dime, ain't no reasons justify these crimes
Have you seen my Bolivian shoes?

Funk Crazy
Facin' my 1st world problems
Singin' my Christian Blues
Wonderin' how to solve 'em
Bad luck is no excuse
Track Name: Out Of The Blue
So you need a place where you can see some faces
Maybe go to get your groove on
You got nothin to lose but a case of the blues
Baby better get a move on
Head down the street to the place with the beat
That makes you wanna jump and holler
You gotta hit the bricks and get into the mix
You might want to fix your collar

There's a girl waitin' there she's got strawberry hair
Some shoes that she would die for
She got magical hips, she's luscious of lip
Got some other things you would lie for
Take her out on the floor before she finds the door
Show her just what you're made of
She ain't shy so you better be sly
If you wanna taste the tunnel of love

Out of the blue
You want to play the game have fortune and fame
Better come around to what is true
Out of the blue
Fashion is fine if that's your line
You'll pay up when the rent is due
Out of the blue
Get your back off the wall you can have it all
Really ain't nothin' new
Out of the blue

Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to be
Lost in the crowd

You can figure it out or you can cast about
And fade away into the dark
Take your shot, be the Sultan of Swat
And hit it right out of the park
It's there for you if you can see it through
And find your way into the sun
It's here or there but you should be aware
Over there nobody's havin' fun
Track Name: Winners
Hear the spinners
We're all winners
Where's the border patrol?
Morning twitters
Gives you the jitters
Chaos is the new way to roll
Climbs a tall tree to lie
When the gospel's on the ground
Gonna spend my money while the world's still around
Run for the hills
And observe the thrills
When it blows

Misguided reason
Nepotistic treason
Each day a new centerfold
Evil child fan base
In a more humane place
People couldn't be so cold
You pulled that curtain and you know what you did
Now we're all babysitters for the world's meanest kid
Saying "Get in line
It'll be just fine"
I don't know....

All you winners, virtuoustic sinners have to know
What's at stake here, what it's gonna take here

Legal wankers
Russian bankers
Keep the paramours paid
Clumsy collusion
Populist delusion
All our foundations betrayed
Call it fake news
When they're caught in the act
They're rebuilding this world on alternative facts
Sell it large
And deny the charge

(2nd Chorus)
All you losers, deep state accusers have to know
What's at stake here, what it's gonna take here
Track Name: Little Kings
In the big town
Painted red and blue
There's some gangsters
Sent by me and you
They got fancy suits
And shiny shoes
And they don't care
About the job they're supposed to do
It's a circus act
That's a fact
'cause once they get there
They don't look back
They're the Little Kings

In the back room
Up the stairs
It's all quid pro quo
And laissez faire
Build a shipyard
Over there
Skim the profits
And give it to the millionaires
Shut down the halls
And paint the walls
With the blood of the common man
They're the Little Kings

Pennies for your dreams
Billions for their schemes
Nothing's as it seems

Your assurance
From the hill
Each step forward
Leaves you standing still
They move up
We go downhill
Death by friendly fire
An appropriation bill
Lies and fraud
From men of straw
Out of reach
And above the law
They're the Little Kings
Track Name: Long Gone
Last night lyin' in bed
Heard those voices in my head
"You should be long gone"

We did our best to make it right
Still the darkness kills the light
I should be long gone

There's nothin' left but jealousy, hate, and tears
It's time for me to go
Our love has died you've made it clear

I wish you'd ask for me to stay
The only thing I hear you say
"Wish you were long gone"


I don't know why it went so wrong
Don't know why we can't get along
Instead I'm long gone

Some day I don't know when
Maybe I'll think of you as a friend
But now I'm long gone

A love that once was warm has grown so cold
I finally realize
Our time has passed, our story's told

I'm leavin' now, won't say goodbye
Don't say you're sorry 'cause that's a lie
I'm finally long gone