The Twisted Tale Of The Honky Tonk Monkey

by RS Cain

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released January 1, 2008


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RS Cain Versailles, Kentucky

I'm a guitarist, singer, and songwriter from central Kentucky.
My music is a mix of many different influences; from the country and western I heard as a child to some stuff I heard yesterday.
I write songs primarily to make you shake your money maker. I'm not deep, and I'm certainly no virtuoso. I just want you to have a good time.
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Track Name: The Train And The Pain
Sittin here and lookin back
Gazin down these well worn tracks
I've done some things I'd never tell ya
The little stories and twisted schemes
The vicious wishes, the grandest dreams
The useless lies I'd try to sell ya

I've felt a broken heart
I broke a few, I've done my part
Adding to the sum of love's equation
Clear days and stormy nights
Sweet embraces and deadly fights
And I've not reached my destination

The train of life
Will stop at many stations on the way
(It's waiting right outside,
It'll take you for a ride)
The pain of love
Is just as necessary
Let it wrap you in it's tender arms
And never let you go

A hero's task, a villian's feast
Compassion's kiss and rage released
The journey's not by reservation
The trains are long, their tracks entwined
The fare is steep, your heart is blind
But love can bring illumination
Track Name: Chillin' (From The Inside Out)
Can't make a claim to be ambitious
That just never was my style
I'm too laid back to be seditious
The NSA ain't interested in my files
Cause I'm Chillin
Chillin from the inside out
Chillin from the inside out

Every day brings consequences
Of things we do just gettin by
But I believe in mendin fences
Ain't got time for no eye for an eye
Cause I'm chillin

There's no time to fuss and cry
Or to search for reasons why
Just don't worry let it slide
We've got all the time we need
Satisfaction's guaranteed
Just back it off a few degrees

If you follow my prescription
This philosophy of bein cool
I think you'll earn a new description
Whatever comes, you play by your own rules
And be chillin
Track Name: The Honky Tonk Monkey
The honky tonk monkey
Ain't got no tail
But what a tale he could tell
If he could tell the tale
We'd all end up in jail

He's got no smarts
But a lot of soul
If he got drunk, even so
And told all that he knows
They'd throw us in the hole

Monkey's are cute but they make bad bets
You just can't trust 'em
Like you do the other pets
They're always watchin' everything you do
And before that monkey's through
It'a all over the zoo!
Track Name: It's Hard To Get A Stripper Off The Pole
Eddie was a good boy
The kind you seldom find
Ask any kind of favor
Eddie didn't mind
A ride to do some shoppin'
A ten to pay the bill
You need a friend to watch your back
You know that Eddie will

One night in late September
We all jumped in Eddie's car
And made our weekly visit
To the local girly bar
Amid the smoke and hustle
She came slinkin'cross the room
As soon as Eddie saw her
She made his heart go boom

She said her name was Lila
But her friends all called her Star
The sleekest, freakest anything
To ever hit this bar
Eddie bought a lapdance
Then a trip through the private door
And that was that, she'd sprung the trap
Ed had to have some more

A weekend in the islands
Picnics in the park
She told him that she loved him
But kept him in the dark
About all her other lovers
She told Eddie they were friends
When he ran out of mon she stopped the fun
And told Eddie "That's the end!"

Poor Eddie, there's one thing I know
You can change her name but
You can't save her soul
It's Hard To Get A Stripper Off The Pole

Consider this a fable
A cautionary tale
Remember the Black Widows
Who use and eat their males
Some say the Widow's victims
Deserve just what they get
And Eddie boy will tell ya himself
It's just a suckers bet

Poor Eddie, I guess now you know
You can fix her car but
You can't fix her soul
It's Hard To Get A Stripper Off The Pole

Hey Eddie, can't forget that Ho
He gave her his heart but
She took his soul
It's Hard to Get A Stripper Off The Pole
Track Name: Even Dogs Get The Blues
Even dogs get the blues
You know that they do
One look in those big sad eyes
Will give you a clue
Though we all know
Nobody can guess why it's true
Even dogs get the blues

Sometimes love's just not right
You fuss and you fight
Those worrisome days
And those long sleepless nights
You try and you cry
Hopin' you'll somehow see the light
Sometime love's just not right

We miss your conversation, your witty observations
Every little thing you do
You've been gone so long
We need you back where you belong
My dog and me definitely got the blues

And so here we stand
A dog and his man
Barin' our souls
Hopin' you'll understand
Walkin' the floor
Watchin' the door hopin' it's you
Even dogs get the blues
Track Name: Back To Baghdad
The infidels are coming, I hear the rotors beating through the night
No matter what ’ol Bob says I think the situation’s gettin’ tight
I was hoping I’d get lucky And everything would stay completely cool
We’d chill out at the palace And maybe have a drink out by the pool

I’ll miss my morning coffee and a cigarette
The evening sun’s reflection off the minaret
But party time is over
And I can’t go back to Baghdad anymore

Goodbye to days at Basra, we’d take the girls and throw ‘em in the sea
Just to see if they would come up Me an’ Sean and Chemical Ali
I had the whole world waitin’ To see what oily tricks I had in store
The tables turned on me the night My uncle came rolling through the door

Now Tommy’s coming over, bringing all his friends
He rocks the block with the gifts he sends
But party time is over
And I can’t go back to Baghdad anymore

So where are all my allies now that this debacle’s come to pass
After all we had some good times, that party with the Kurds was just a gas
I did the Oody Coosy and kept the martyrs hanging from a tree
And now that they’ve got nothing they wanna turn and blame it all on me
Track Name: Same Thing
Tonight I was listenin' while you told all our old friends
All about your newest man
The way he makes you feel, the kisses that you steal
All about your newest master plan

He's the coolest thing since sliced bread
He's so handsome he makes other men look bland
He's so smart he's sure to get ahead
Hell I tell ya honey, I had to hold my tongue with both hands

That's the same thing you said about me
That's the same thing you said about me
From the day that I met you
'till the day you set me free
That's the same thing you said about me

He treats you like you're a little Dixie princess
He turns you on like hell's own flame
He really rings your chimes, you want him all the time
And then you called him by my name

That's the same thing you said about me
That's the same thing you said about me
From the day that I met you
'till the day you set me free
That's the same thing you said about me

Caters to your every whim, you can't get enough of him
He makes you feel like one of those naughty girls
A love so hot and true, it's made for him and you
Seems like I've heard that line once or twice before