The Twisted Tale Of The Honky Tonk Monkey

by RS Cain

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1.
Sittin here and lookin back Gazin down these well worn tracks I've done some things I'd never tell ya The little stories and twisted schemes The vicious wishes, the grandest dreams The useless lies I'd try to sell ya I've felt a broken heart I broke a few, I've done my part Adding to the sum of love's equation Clear days and stormy nights Sweet embraces and deadly fights And I've not reached my destination The train of life Will stop at many stations on the way (It's waiting right outside, It'll take you for a ride) The pain of love Is just as necessary Let it wrap you in it's tender arms And never let you go A hero's task, a villian's feast Compassion's kiss and rage released The journey's not by reservation The trains are long, their tracks entwined The fare is steep, your heart is blind But love can bring illumination
2.
Can't make a claim to be ambitious That just never was my style I'm too laid back to be seditious The NSA ain't interested in my files Cause I'm Chillin Chillin from the inside out Chillin Chillin from the inside out Every day brings consequences Of things we do just gettin by But I believe in mendin fences Ain't got time for no eye for an eye Cause I'm chillin BRIDGE: There's no time to fuss and cry Or to search for reasons why Just don't worry let it slide We've got all the time we need Satisfaction's guaranteed Just back it off a few degrees If you follow my prescription This philosophy of bein cool I think you'll earn a new description Whatever comes, you play by your own rules And be chillin
3.
The honky tonk monkey Ain't got no tail But what a tale he could tell If he could tell the tale We'd all end up in jail He's got no smarts But a lot of soul If he got drunk, even so And told all that he knows They'd throw us in the hole Monkey's are cute but they make bad bets You just can't trust 'em Like you do the other pets They're always watchin' everything you do And before that monkey's through It'a all over the zoo!
4.
Eddie was a good boy The kind you seldom find Ask any kind of favor Eddie didn't mind A ride to do some shoppin' A ten to pay the bill You need a friend to watch your back You know that Eddie will One night in late September We all jumped in Eddie's car And made our weekly visit To the local girly bar Amid the smoke and hustle She came slinkin'cross the room As soon as Eddie saw her She made his heart go boom She said her name was Lila But her friends all called her Star The sleekest, freakest anything To ever hit this bar Eddie bought a lapdance Then a trip through the private door And that was that, she'd sprung the trap Ed had to have some more A weekend in the islands Picnics in the park She told him that she loved him But kept him in the dark About all her other lovers She told Eddie they were friends When he ran out of mon she stopped the fun And told Eddie "That's the end!" Poor Eddie, there's one thing I know You can change her name but You can't save her soul It's Hard To Get A Stripper Off The Pole Consider this a fable A cautionary tale Remember the Black Widows Who use and eat their males Some say the Widow's victims Deserve just what they get And Eddie boy will tell ya himself It's just a suckers bet Poor Eddie, I guess now you know You can fix her car but You can't fix her soul It's Hard To Get A Stripper Off The Pole Hey Eddie, can't forget that Ho He gave her his heart but She took his soul It's Hard to Get A Stripper Off The Pole
5.
Even dogs get the blues You know that they do One look in those big sad eyes Will give you a clue Though we all know Nobody can guess why it's true Even dogs get the blues Sometimes love's just not right You fuss and you fight Those worrisome days And those long sleepless nights You try and you cry Hopin' you'll somehow see the light Sometime love's just not right We miss your conversation, your witty observations Every little thing you do You've been gone so long We need you back where you belong My dog and me definitely got the blues And so here we stand A dog and his man Barin' our souls Hopin' you'll understand Walkin' the floor Watchin' the door hopin' it's you Even dogs get the blues
6.
The infidels are coming, I hear the rotors beating through the night No matter what ’ol Bob says I think the situation’s gettin’ tight I was hoping I’d get lucky And everything would stay completely cool We’d chill out at the palace And maybe have a drink out by the pool Chorus I’ll miss my morning coffee and a cigarette The evening sun’s reflection off the minaret But party time is over And I can’t go back to Baghdad anymore Goodbye to days at Basra, we’d take the girls and throw ‘em in the sea Just to see if they would come up Me an’ Sean and Chemical Ali I had the whole world waitin’ To see what oily tricks I had in store The tables turned on me the night My uncle came rolling through the door Chorus Now Tommy’s coming over, bringing all his friends He rocks the block with the gifts he sends But party time is over And I can’t go back to Baghdad anymore So where are all my allies now that this debacle’s come to pass After all we had some good times, that party with the Kurds was just a gas I did the Oody Coosy and kept the martyrs hanging from a tree And now that they’ve got nothing they wanna turn and blame it all on me
7.
03:30
Tonight I was listenin' while you told all our old friends All about your newest man The way he makes you feel, the kisses that you steal All about your newest master plan He's the coolest thing since sliced bread He's so handsome he makes other men look bland He's so smart he's sure to get ahead Hell I tell ya honey, I had to hold my tongue with both hands That's the same thing you said about me That's the same thing you said about me From the day that I met you 'till the day you set me free That's the same thing you said about me He treats you like you're a little Dixie princess He turns you on like hell's own flame He really rings your chimes, you want him all the time And then you called him by my name That's the same thing you said about me That's the same thing you said about me From the day that I met you 'till the day you set me free That's the same thing you said about me Bridge: Caters to your every whim, you can't get enough of him He makes you feel like one of those naughty girls A love so hot and true, it's made for him and you Seems like I've heard that line once or twice before

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released January 1, 2008

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RS Cain Versailles, Kentucky

I'm a guitarist, singer, and songwriter from central Kentucky.
My music is a mix of many different influences; from the country and western I heard as a child to some stuff I heard yesterday.
I write songs primarily to make you shake your money maker. I'm not deep, and I'm certainly no virtuoso. I just want you to have a good time.
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